Wish You Were Here

Just back from Ireland and once again had a great time with the friendly laid-back locals. This time we were in the Galway area and a lovely village called Ballyvaughan. One of the charms of the Irish is their way of talking, such as this response to being asked the quickest way to a particular place: "Are you driving or walking?" "Driving" "That'll be the quickest way then."

On this visit, we enjoyed some wonderfully 'Irish' conversations. Like the newsagent who explained the morning papers "could be here in 2 minutes, they could be here in 2o minutes, all I can tell you is- they will be here." One wonderful example of the Irish thought process was in an advertising slogan outside a newly built estate on the outskirts of Dublin: "If you lived here, you'd be home by now." So true. Like any great slogan, I can't get it out of my head. Brilliant.

Sex Sells Theatre Tickets

An article in the Daily Telegraph explains in fascinating detail how David Pugh and his partner Daffyd Rogers financed Equus and their many other theatrical successes and occasional failures. However it says little about the part David’s marketing skill has played in his achievements. I have met no other producer who combines theatrical knowledge with marketing flair in quite the way David does.


David’s decision to change the cast of Art every twelve weeks was a clever way of keeping the show in the news, as was the special celebrity guest each night in The Play What I Wrote. When he brought Rebecca starring Nigel Havers to my then theatre, he marketed it with a brilliant black and white photo (by Lord Lichfield) of Havers looking wistful on a beach. David gave me a framed version of the poster when we broke the British box office record for a play. It’s the only theatre poster I have in my office.



The image used for Equus was just as striking, featuring a bare chested Daniel Radcliffe whose lower body morphed into a horse’s head. The announcement of the West End run was accompanied by studio photos of a nearly naked Daniel. They were entirely in keeping with the sexual themes in the play but the image of a sexy Harry Potter gained coverage in virtually every national paper.

Comment Is Free

Much relief in the world of theatre critics that the Appeal Court has not allowed the composer of the opera Manifest Destiny to sue critic Veronica Lee for her comments in the Evening Standard. Her review had suggested that the work was anti-American and made terrorists seem heroic. The court decided this was 'fair comment'.

It is always a worry for the media that a review might step over the line into libel. I had the same concern myself when publishing audience reviews on a website . A successful libel suit would have severely restricted all of us from giving our opinions in public.

It is right that people should not be free to make damaging remarks about a product or person out of malice or by implying an opinion to be a fact. However giving an opinion reasonably formed from an experience is fundamental to our freedom of speech.

See Veronica's response to the verdict on the Observer website.

Harry Triumphs- in PR at least

I guess like half the world's population, I've spent the last few days reading Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. I know it's ultimately just another PR event- just like the book is just another adventure story but the plot is clever and the action gripping and so was the PR.
It's sometimes hard to believe anyone was paid to market the book since there was already such global interest but the way the build-up was handled with little leaks and PR events was brilliant. It was great to get to the final battle and to find out the fate of all our favourite characters (and whether the publishers could prevent the outcome being revealed).
There's a bit too much exposition (a bit like when Poirot explains whodunit) and occasionally I got fed up with the 'with a bound they were free' solutions to the fixes our heroes were in (in the manner of the old Saturday morning kids' films) but these are minor quibbles.
Well done, JK and your PR people, you brought everything to a very satisfactory conclusion. Not sure whether the epilogue (19 years later) was really in keeping- but perhaps this was the bit that she famously wrote all those years ago, so she couldn't really abandon it now. Time to get on with the rest of our lives.

Business Is About Profits Not Ethics

We're just in the middle of buying shop premises at the moment, which is why the entries are few and far between.

It's been a reminder to me, if I needed it, of how dog-eat-dog the business world is. When you work in a business where everyone knows one another and has to deal with same people again in the future, reputation is important. It's vital that you're seen as reliable and trustworthy.

Not so when you're buying property (commercial or residential). The property owners- and I guess the buyers as well- know they're not likely to be dealing with you again so notions of honour and ethics are somewhat different.

We started negotiations with a landlord to rent one of his properties. In the theatre world, a manager would be called dishonourable and unethical if he or she began negotiations with another promoter if they had even a pencil (provisional) booking.

Not so in the property world, it seems. This landlord had no scruples about beginning negotiations with another prospective tenant after negotiations were already under way with us. As our 'rivals' were a more established business, they got the shop and we were out-of-pocket for £1000 in solicitor's fees. And, no, our man wasn't interested in compensating us. Fortunately we hadn't had the survey done or we would have been a further £1500 down.

This is not to say this fellow is dishonourable or unethical, just that different rules apply in the property world. I am under no illusions, having been a business person most of my life, that the world of business is about profit not sentiment- companies may present themselves as ethical, compassionate, caring, loyal to their customers or whatever- but this is a response to what they feel they need to do to keep selling their products at a profit, nothing deeper. Tesco are generous to schools but they trample on suppliers and rivals.

From my own experience as an employee, I found that you can be loyal, help your boss turn a company around, protect him from mistakes and coups, and still be shafted when his interests don't coincide with yours.

When business people complain about red tape what they really mean is that they resent laws and regulations that make them behave better than they otherwise would. Still we're now negotiating for another property and look forward to the challenge of running an ethical business at a profit.

Cricket Ticket Sales Score A Duck

I went to my first cricket match in 40 years last week. Well, not a proper cricket match- a Twenty20 game which has none of the cat-and-mouse excitement (for which, read 'boredom', unless you're very keen) of first class cricket but is an edge-of-your-seat hit-and-run event.

So the game was fun. But. What was disappointing was the Hampshire Rosebowl's sales set-up. Although we wanted to book well in advance and the date was known well ahead, it was only a month before that it finally went on sale Even a week before, the ticket office were uncertain about exactly when we would be allowed to buy tickets. This is not the way to sell tickets. Always have the Action available when you stimulate the Desire.

Then there's the website. Try to buy tickets by clicking on a specific game and you are still sent to a general online booking page which you then have to click to book tickets for your chosen game. Did whoever designed it actually try to use it?

Perhaps you'd prefer to book by phone. So you call the (premium rate) number given on the website, which I did four times during their opening hours, and only ever got a pre-recorded message directing me to, you guessed it, the website.

Do these people want to sell tickets?

Race For Life

I’m proud to say that my wife Julia and daughter Becky recently completed a Race For Life. They ran/walked the three mile course in Winchester in support of Cancer Research and in memory of our brother-in-law Richard Knott who died from cancer at the end of last year. Between them, they raised nearly £300 and had an enjoyable day, albeit tinged with sadness. It was moving to see so many people with signs on their backs naming the person they were running for. Cancer touches so many lives. Julia is still welcoming donations at justgiving.co.uk/julialewis Also running were my mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and Richard’s daughters.

Say No To 0870

If I phone you up to buy something from you, is it good customer service to make me listen to an advertisement and to charge me at a premium rate for the privilege? Obviously not, yet that’s exactly what Airmiles did when I phoned their 0870 number to book some Eurostar tickets (which you can’t do online). If they want to sell me a credit card, that’s fine but they should do it on a freefone number. After holding for a couple of minutes, I decided to go to saynoto0870.com to get the lower cost number local exchange number which incidentally is 01925 866000.

I started getting my Tesco Clubcard points converted to Airmiles because they seemed like better value and so it has proved. I booked flights to Paris because Eurostar was too expensive. For just over 2500 miles, I saved £150 on flights. This values the Airmiles at 6p each. For every £2.50 in Clubcard vouchers, you get 60 miles or £3.60 at the rate I got, so that is good value unless you use up all your extra value in 0870 charges.

When is June?

I always look forward to receiving the Southampton Harbour Lights Picture House brochure each month. When the June issue arrived, I was excited to see they are screening Top Hat on 10 June, so I phoned the box office to book tickets, only to be told it doesn’t go on sale until 5 June. Golden rule: don’t advertise something you can’t sell.

My wife found the opposite problem. She bought the June issue of Good Housekeeping on 27th May only to find that a readers’ offer from M&S ran out on 23rd May. She phoned GH to complain but the person she spoke to couldn’t care less, arguing that the issue had appeared in early May.

Two good examples of how to piss off your customers.

Hiya

Is it what is said or the thought behind it that counts when it somes to customer service? I find an increasing number of the young people at checkouts now say 'Hiya' and 'Seeya' rather than 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'. I would normally argue that someone serving should tailor their language to the customer but since this is their natural form of language so they're not being impolite, I think it would be unreaosnable to expect them to second guess how I would like to be greeted. It's much better and offers a more genuine service than them parroting 'Have a nice day' because that's what you've been trained to say.

It's not just a catchphrase...

An article in The Guardian last week heralded the death of catchphrases in the age of advertisements that sell stories, feelings and images. I think there'll always be room for a memorable phrase that encapsulates a brand. 'It's not just food, it's M&S food', 'I bet he didn't go to Specsavers' are just two recent successes that show the catchphrase is alive and well.

Keep Your Eyes On The Horizon

That means make sure your marketing is line with the company’s objectives. It’s wasteful and bad for your employment prospects if you trying to position the product as cheap and cheerful when the company wants it to be seen as top quality and exclusive.

It means making sure your marketing doesn’t sacrifice long term aims for short term gains. Don’t cut prices to gain sales now if it’s going to compromise your product’s image.

It doesn’t mean taking your eye of the detail of what you’re doing now. However, don't let your marketing meander all over the place. Everything little thing you do should be informed by the long term strategy.

How To Write

While I was preparing some advice for a client on writing press releases, I came across these words from the nineteenth century writer John Ruskin. The points he makes apply to any kind of writing- press releases, blogs, direct mail, novels:

"Say all you have to say in the fewest words possible, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will be sure to misunderstand them."

Shocking News

I was discussing with one of my clients ways in which they could get more media coverage. At one time sex, nudity and swearing were surefire ways of whipping up some media controversy. Nowadays these things pass without notice.

I remember being disappointed when the appearance of The Vagina Monologues at my theatre a few years ago failed to raise even an eyebrow, let alone a green ink letter. A few days ago Wedding Belles on Channel 4 offered us necrophilia, hard drug taking, gory murder and foul language and still didn’t make the headlines. Disappointing for us publicists, but at least artists can now get on with exploring human sexual activity without their efforts being viewed through the filter of shock.

On the other hand, religion is definitely worth a try if you want to get some media attention. You don’t even have to go out of your way to offend some Christians or Muslims- it seems they’re going out of their way to be offended. The latest is the banning of an exhibition of a naked Jesus made of chocolate that was due to be displayed in a New York gallery. The Catholic League For Religious And Civil Rights did the deed in this case. I’d never heard of Cosimo Cavallero before but now I’ve seen his website and think some of his work looks quite impressive.

Let’s be thankful there are still people around who can guarantee the arts a bit of publicity.

Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed? Not at the Theatre

Lyn Gardner’s blog at Guardian Unlimited made me think about refunds for theatre shows. “Guarantee” is one of the strongest selling words there is. So why are the arts so reluctant to offer one? Do we have such a lack of confidence in our product?

It’s partly because when you're talking about theatre satisfaction is a matter of opinion, partly because arts finances are so tight. I also know there’s a fear that some unscrupulous people would take advantage and ask for a refund even if they enjoyed the show, in effect having their cake and eating it, which is different from someone returning goods to a shop.

Experience from other industries suggests that the vast majority of people don’t try it on and we would make a lot more money in extra ticket sales than we would lose in refunds.

But if we really don’t trust our audience, why not give them a refund if they leave before the end? That’s what I used to do when I was involved in running a theatre. Then again, we’re talking about an industry that generally won’t even give refunds the day after the ticket is purchased!

Lyn Gardner also discusses the apparent problem of cheap tickets intended to encourage new attenders being snapped up by old hands. I'm amazed this is a such an issue these days. Every theatre and ticket agency has a database of customers. Surely you simply say that if you're an existing customer, you don't qualify for an introductory offer. Of course there will be some who go to a different agency or buy through another party just to get the discount but this simple measure would eliminate most of the 'problem'. Have they not heard of database marketing?

Customer Service Goes Bananas

I’ve said before that a company is only as good as its frontline staff. Here are two good examples, both from Marks & Spencer.

I’m looking for bananas. The banana shelves are empty so I ask a nearby shelf stacker. She says they’ve had a busy day and sold out. Feeling sad, I go to the check-out, then just as I’m leaving the shop, the assistant rushes up to me with her arms full of bunches of the curvy yellow fruit. She says “I was just out the back and I found some more bananas!” That’s what I call service.

By contrast, the very next day, I’m trying to select a yoghurt (I know you’re impressed by my healthy diet) but I can’t get to the shelf because an assistant is on his knees in front of me- not worshipping the chilled section but stacking shelves. This is clearly what he sees as his job, and he won't let customers get in the way of it. That’s what I call a banana skin.

If you're going to do it, do it properly

Last Monday saw the launch of Celebratio, an event management and ticketing system from SecureTicket for which The Lewis Experience has been providing PR and marketing support. What I like about the people at SecureTicket (apart from the fact that they're very nice) is that they realise the danger of the false economy.

So they chose the Cafe Royal for the launch- a top class, sophisticated venue right in the heart of London, not some anonymous hotel on the fringes. They got a well known celebrity (Maggie Philbin, the BBC's Face Of Technology, pictured with Rashid Qajar, chief executive of SecureTicket) to host it instead of relying on their excellent but unknown selves. They served champagne not cheap sparkling wine. They commissioned a short comedy film and hired a live band, rather than simply offering a power point presentation.

The result was a well-attended evening and potential clients going away with an image of a company that doesn't just promise great things but actually delivers.

If you want to know more about Celebratio, which by the way is Latin for 'audience', visit the website secureticket.biz.

Love Marketing

The marketing of Valentine’s Day relies on the two great motivators- fear and greed: the fear of the wrath of your significant other if you don't give a large card or gift; the greed at the prospect of a little romance (oh all right, sex) if you do.

No Checking Spells Disaster

I know there are many worse things in the world but it really irritates me when I see spelling and grammatical errors.

I was in a petrol station last week where a sign said that they were going to be closing for ‘maintenence’. The same day I found a shop that was looking for someone who could work ‘flexable’ hours. These were produced on a PC so what’s the excuse for not doing a spell check? Worse still, I saw an ad for one of BT’s business services on a website which promised they would ‘moniter’ activities.

There is a renowned Press Officer at a Midlands concert venue who has made an art form out of sloppiness. He/she recently referred to Foden's Richardson Band as Foden Richardsons Brass Band and The Foden’s Richardson Brass Band, both in the same press release, but never by the correct name. It’s a Council-owned venue so I assume their Equal Opportunities Policy extends to not discriminating against people who can’t copy the words in front of them.

This may all seem a little anally retentive in our 'let everyone do their own thing' world but there is a serious point. A lot of us do care about spelling and grammar, therefore when a business gets it wrong, it undermines our confidence that the company will get other more important things right.

iTunes Pricing Makes No Marketing Sense

You have to respect Apple- they clearly know a thing or two about marketing- but I really don’t understand their iTunes pricing policy. It makes no sense to me to price everything the same- every song 79p, every album (with rare exceptions) £7.90.

I can only think the strange kind of monopoly they have means they feel they can ignore basic principles of pricing as a marketing tool. Or maybe it’s because they operate in cyberspace where, with no physical stock, they don’t have the problem of being stuck with piles of unsold CDs.

Normally you would expect to offer a special low price on a new popular product so that you shift higher volumes at a lower profit. You might charge a higher price for something less popular because you are only moving small numbers and therefore cost per unit is relatively high. And of course you always want to knock out dead stock at bargain prices. None of this applies if everything takes up the same space on the server and costs the same to sell. On the other hand, wouldn’t a bit of price cutting help increase turnover?

That’s just looking at iTunes from a marketing perspective. CDs are often cheaper or more expensive because of the level of royalties payable or the promotional costs- hence some incredibly cheap re-issues of old recordings. How does this affect the business model of the record companies if every itunes sale yields the same return?

From a consumer’s point of view, how can Apple justify charging the same for a song which is out of copyright as one which is paying massive royalties to the recording artist? And, since cyberspace is so cheap, how do they have the nerve to charge £7.90 for an album which you could have in your hands and with a nice booklet for perhaps £8.99, when they incur none of the production, storage, distribution and sales staff costs associated with discs? We British may feel particularly aggrieved when you consider that in the US you pay 99 cents a track whereas in the UK you pay the equivalent of $1.50.

To a marketing person like me, this is adding injury to insult.

Open The Envelope

I nearly threw away the mailing that arrived covered in information about the Royal National Lifeboat Institution. I’m in favour of charitable giving but I already give to many other worthy causes. It was only my amusement at their fundraising event's title- Save Our Soles (say it out loud) that made me open the envelope. Imagine my surprise to find it was actually a mailing from the Chartered Institute of Marketing.

I expect it was a charitable gesture that encouraged the CIM to let the RNLI provide the envelopes but (and I'm finding it quite exciting to be critcising the CIM for poor marketing) it was a mistake. Effective mailings start with the envelope.

If you want to support Save Our Soles day, go to rnlisos.org.uk

Who Wins The Big Brother PR Battle- You Decide!

What japes in the Big Brother house!

From a marketing point of view, who are the winners and losers?

Channel 4, worried that BB is losing its lustre, brought in Jade Goody, BB’s most famous housemate, and family to liven up the programme. It began to backfire when she so alienated Ken Russell that he walked out. Then there was a predictable argument over food (we regular BB viewers know food is always a flash point). Faced with declining viewing figures, C4 exploited the row for all it’s worth. However they probably didn’t expect the slanging match and bullying that have been a regular feature on BB through the years to turn into a global controversy on racism. As a result, BB is back on the front pages and they have gained viewing figures. These are probably short term gains. On the other hand, they've lost their £3 million sponsor and they've been condemned by politicians and other more sincere people. Storm in a teacup perhaps. Still, they have lived on the edge with this programme for some time, using controversy as their main PR weapon. This time they got their comeuppance.

Jade has exploited her persona for all it’s worth. She’s become a tabloid favourite, featured in minor TV programmes and sold a successful perfume. She might have thought that re-entering the house would put her back on the front pages and mainstream TV, and set the seal on her celebrity. Unfortunately for her, the ignorance and naivety that made her so appealing showed their dark side in the charged atmosphere of the BB house, when she was seen bullying Shilpa. (Though not a racist, I think. Given her uncontrolled language generally, I am sure that, if she was, racist pejoratives would have slipped out of her mouth.) She's been evicted with 82% of the vote, her scent is off the shelves at Debenhams, her apology appears forced and she is a hate figure.

Shilpa Shetty, unheard of outside of India and the Bollywood fanbase, decided to gain exposure in the UK by appearing on BB. She was calm and dignified in the face of bullying from Jade. She got sympathy from a British public that is fair-minded and likes underdogs and she has become a household name in the UK. Western film contracts will no doubt follow. Mission accomplished beyond her wildest dreams.

The winner is Shilpa Shetty.

I Don't Want To Be A Producer

I was sorry to see that The Producers has closed in London after two years. 920 performances is respectable but nothing like the run of its Broadway cousin, now in its seventh year. I’ve seen both versions and found them equally slick and funny.

Lyn Gardner was backstage on the last night and wrote an informative piece in The Guardian. She blames the size of the venue (Theatre Royal Drury Lane has 2200 seats) for its relatively early demise. I agree that filling all the seats in a large theatre can be a problem. I always felt Disney’s Beauty And The Beast deserved a much longer London run but the huge Dominion did for it. Well established productions like Phantom or Les Mis often move to smaller venues- and the producers of The Producers did consider this- but early in a run production costs need to be paid back quickly and, when you’re talking about a multi-million pound musical spectacular, you can only hope to do this if you’re occupying a large theatre.

On the other hand, maybe a spoof on putting on a Broadway show doesn’t have the same appeal to British audiences as to Americans. We’ll have to see how well sales go for the superb Spamalot which covers similar ground.

Still, there’s always the tour. Those provincials who didn’t make the perilous trip to the capital now have the chance to enjoy The Producers nearer to home.

Why Market To People Who Aren't Interested?

You know all those Arts Council inspired initiatives to bring classical music, opera and ballet to a wider audience? Like doing more contemporary work or offering cheap tickets or putting on educational evenings. Do you think they work? A report from America suggests many audience development initiatives may be a waste of public funds.

The James S and John L Knight Foundation spent $13 million in ten years funding schemes to attract new audiences to 15 US Symphony Orchestras. What they found was that free concerts in more ‘accessible’ venues, putting the musicians in jeans or doing educational work, all failed to increase the number of tickets sold.

It’s not that people don’t like classical music. 60% of adults claimed they did, but fewer than 5% went to live concerts. These days classical music lovers prefer to listen to recordings or the radio. Free concerts attracted an audience but didn’t convert them into ticket buyers. It seems the vast majority don’t want to pay big money for a long concert in a large concert hall.

Is this so bad? Times do change and maybe we should accept change. Theatre and Popular Music has coped with the rise of cinema, television and recordings by providing audiences with large-scale spectaculars with a unique ‘wow’ factor and at the other end of the scale small-scale performances of unique intimacy.

Ballet, Opera and Classical Music have an audience and can appeal to newcomers who appreciate their qualities, but all the great ballets, operas and symphonies were written over a hundred years ago and, at least in live versions, they’re limited in their appeal to a 21st audience.

When I worked more with arts companies, it was frustrating to see them spend money on audience development projects that were clearly ‘hoops’ they were being put through to justify their funding, when I wanted to spend it on more marketing to the known audience. Get them to come more often and to spread the word.

I enjoy many pre-20th century works performed live and I’m grateful to the Arts Council for subsidising my pleasure. But I accept I’m in a small minority. Audience development projects are just guilt money because so much public funding is being used to provide entertainment for a well-heeled middle class elite.

How The Grinch Stole Broadway

Interesting article by Robert Simonson in the US publication Playbill about the success of the seasonal Broadway production How The Grinch Stole Christmas. In the two weeks of mid-December, its sales beat the current market leader Wicked, filling 96% of capacity.

How did they do it? The target audience was families and in this case that means Mum, who usually makes the decisions on family theatre choices. Thom Miller, the producers’ vice president of marketing, who is a mother herself, explains, "In my opinion, moms are the busiest people on the planet but, also, moms are the hardest people to reach. For Broadway shows, and especially family shows, they're the ones who make the decisions.

“We try to reach Moms throughout their daily life by traditional and non-traditional means. Of course, we do radio and print advertising. We strategically buy in newspapers that we think moms will read. We also partner with a lot of media and transit partners—the Long Island Railroad, New Jersey Transit, the MTA."

Taking their lead from the hugley successful Radio City Christmas Spectacular, they also run eight shows at the weekend, starting with 11a.m. and finishing with an 8p.m. for the older kids. Prices are lower than the typical Broadway musical to attract families rather than couples.

How To Market Yourself Out Of Existence

Around Christmas, I seemed to be getting an email from HMV every other day- on one occasion there were three emails in my inbox. It's probably not a coincidence that the other day I read that their shops' seasonal sales are disappointing. I sympathise with them but bombarding their customers with sales emails is not the answer. It's an abuse of the permission I gave them to email and, like others before them, they'll probably find it backfires.
The maximum I want to hear from even my favourite businesses is once a week and then only if they have something interesting to say. i-tunes tell me weekly what's new and I'm grateful. Play.com (my favourite online CD/DVD site) mail me every couple of weeks or so and that's even better. Email me too often and I'll do what I've done to HMV- unsubscribe!