Innocent Until Proven Guilty?

The son of a family friend was recently accused of a crime. There was no proof, simply one person’s word. The police arrested him in the middle of the night, seized his clothing then released him on bail. Despite him being a minor and despite guidelines that state such people should be dealt with quickly, it took five months before they finally decided they had no evidence on which to charge him. (I could add that the ‘witness’ turned out to be totally unreliable.) Then, when he went to collect his clothes, they handed them over in large brown bags marked ‘Police Evidence’ and ‘Prisoner Property’ to carry through the streets. All in all, it was a highly traumatic experience for a young person who has always been law abiding.

The police should ask themselves whether treating an innocent young person like a criminal, especially after there is no doubt of his innocence, is likely to encourage him to regard the police as worthy of support in the future. A commercial company offering this kind of customer service would be damaging its brand and risk going out of business.

Joss Stone Makes The Flake Ad

I love the new Cadbury's Flake TV ad featuring Joss Stone. It perfectly recreates the style of a fly-on-the-wall documentary about making a record. As the recording progresses, there's a slight problem necessitating a pause. During the break, Ms Stone idly picks up a Flake and casually sings, as any of us might, the well-known jingle in her inimitable voice. Instead of putting the bar straight into her mouth as you would expect from the previous ads, thus rather obviously suggesting fellatio, she breaks off a small piece and eats it. The coup de grace is when she looks down and casually flicks off some crumbs from her front, which anyone who's eaten a Flake can relate to.
Perfect in every way- beautifully structured; referring to the universally known Flake ads tradition while at the same time undermining it for a modern audience; and the self deprecating humour at the end that makes a real connection. See it and lots more TV ads at Guardian Media's Creative Lounge

What's your real voice?

I was watching a documentary on Al Bowlly, a great crooner from the 1930s, who briefly rivalled Bing Crosby in popularity. I think it was Carrie Grant who commented that at a certain stage he found his own voice- that unique personal quality, she said, that makes a singer seem 'real' to his or her audience. The same is true of writers, painters and any other kind artist. It struck me that this is very like finding the Unique Selling Proposition for your business product. Of course, in the case of business, it's easily squandered if you disrespect it by, for example, using the name to sell other inferior or barely related products.

Wish You Were Here

Just back from Ireland and once again had a great time with the friendly laid-back locals. This time we were in the Galway area and a lovely village called Ballyvaughan. One of the charms of the Irish is their way of talking, such as this response to being asked the quickest way to a particular place: "Are you driving or walking?" "Driving" "That'll be the quickest way then."

On this visit, we enjoyed some wonderfully 'Irish' conversations. Like the newsagent who explained the morning papers "could be here in 2 minutes, they could be here in 2o minutes, all I can tell you is- they will be here." One wonderful example of the Irish thought process was in an advertising slogan outside a newly built estate on the outskirts of Dublin: "If you lived here, you'd be home by now." So true. Like any great slogan, I can't get it out of my head. Brilliant.

Sex Sells Theatre Tickets

An article in the Daily Telegraph explains in fascinating detail how David Pugh and his partner Daffyd Rogers financed Equus and their many other theatrical successes and occasional failures. However it says little about the part David’s marketing skill has played in his achievements. I have met no other producer who combines theatrical knowledge with marketing flair in quite the way David does.


David’s decision to change the cast of Art every twelve weeks was a clever way of keeping the show in the news, as was the special celebrity guest each night in The Play What I Wrote. When he brought Rebecca starring Nigel Havers to my then theatre, he marketed it with a brilliant black and white photo (by Lord Lichfield) of Havers looking wistful on a beach. David gave me a framed version of the poster when we broke the British box office record for a play. It’s the only theatre poster I have in my office.



The image used for Equus was just as striking, featuring a bare chested Daniel Radcliffe whose lower body morphed into a horse’s head. The announcement of the West End run was accompanied by studio photos of a nearly naked Daniel. They were entirely in keeping with the sexual themes in the play but the image of a sexy Harry Potter gained coverage in virtually every national paper.

Comment Is Free

Much relief in the world of theatre critics that the Appeal Court has not allowed the composer of the opera Manifest Destiny to sue critic Veronica Lee for her comments in the Evening Standard. Her review had suggested that the work was anti-American and made terrorists seem heroic. The court decided this was 'fair comment'.

It is always a worry for the media that a review might step over the line into libel. I had the same concern myself when publishing audience reviews on a website . A successful libel suit would have severely restricted all of us from giving our opinions in public.

It is right that people should not be free to make damaging remarks about a product or person out of malice or by implying an opinion to be a fact. However giving an opinion reasonably formed from an experience is fundamental to our freedom of speech.

See Veronica's response to the verdict on the Observer website.

Harry Triumphs- in PR at least

I guess like half the world's population, I've spent the last few days reading Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows. I know it's ultimately just another PR event- just like the book is just another adventure story but the plot is clever and the action gripping and so was the PR.
It's sometimes hard to believe anyone was paid to market the book since there was already such global interest but the way the build-up was handled with little leaks and PR events was brilliant. It was great to get to the final battle and to find out the fate of all our favourite characters (and whether the publishers could prevent the outcome being revealed).
There's a bit too much exposition (a bit like when Poirot explains whodunit) and occasionally I got fed up with the 'with a bound they were free' solutions to the fixes our heroes were in (in the manner of the old Saturday morning kids' films) but these are minor quibbles.
Well done, JK and your PR people, you brought everything to a very satisfactory conclusion. Not sure whether the epilogue (19 years later) was really in keeping- but perhaps this was the bit that she famously wrote all those years ago, so she couldn't really abandon it now. Time to get on with the rest of our lives.

Business Is About Profits Not Ethics

We're just in the middle of buying shop premises at the moment, which is why the entries are few and far between.

It's been a reminder to me, if I needed it, of how dog-eat-dog the business world is. When you work in a business where everyone knows one another and has to deal with same people again in the future, reputation is important. It's vital that you're seen as reliable and trustworthy.

Not so when you're buying property (commercial or residential). The property owners- and I guess the buyers as well- know they're not likely to be dealing with you again so notions of honour and ethics are somewhat different.

We started negotiations with a landlord to rent one of his properties. In the theatre world, a manager would be called dishonourable and unethical if he or she began negotiations with another promoter if they had even a pencil (provisional) booking.

Not so in the property world, it seems. This landlord had no scruples about beginning negotiations with another prospective tenant after negotiations were already under way with us. As our 'rivals' were a more established business, they got the shop and we were out-of-pocket for £1000 in solicitor's fees. And, no, our man wasn't interested in compensating us. Fortunately we hadn't had the survey done or we would have been a further £1500 down.

This is not to say this fellow is dishonourable or unethical, just that different rules apply in the property world. I am under no illusions, having been a business person most of my life, that the world of business is about profit not sentiment- companies may present themselves as ethical, compassionate, caring, loyal to their customers or whatever- but this is a response to what they feel they need to do to keep selling their products at a profit, nothing deeper. Tesco are generous to schools but they trample on suppliers and rivals.

From my own experience as an employee, I found that you can be loyal, help your boss turn a company around, protect him from mistakes and coups, and still be shafted when his interests don't coincide with yours.

When business people complain about red tape what they really mean is that they resent laws and regulations that make them behave better than they otherwise would. Still we're now negotiating for another property and look forward to the challenge of running an ethical business at a profit.

Cricket Ticket Sales Score A Duck

I went to my first cricket match in 40 years last week. Well, not a proper cricket match- a Twenty20 game which has none of the cat-and-mouse excitement (for which, read 'boredom', unless you're very keen) of first class cricket but is an edge-of-your-seat hit-and-run event.

So the game was fun. But. What was disappointing was the Hampshire Rosebowl's sales set-up. Although we wanted to book well in advance and the date was known well ahead, it was only a month before that it finally went on sale Even a week before, the ticket office were uncertain about exactly when we would be allowed to buy tickets. This is not the way to sell tickets. Always have the Action available when you stimulate the Desire.

Then there's the website. Try to buy tickets by clicking on a specific game and you are still sent to a general online booking page which you then have to click to book tickets for your chosen game. Did whoever designed it actually try to use it?

Perhaps you'd prefer to book by phone. So you call the (premium rate) number given on the website, which I did four times during their opening hours, and only ever got a pre-recorded message directing me to, you guessed it, the website.

Do these people want to sell tickets?

Race For Life

I’m proud to say that my wife Julia and daughter Becky recently completed a Race For Life. They ran/walked the three mile course in Winchester in support of Cancer Research and in memory of our brother-in-law Richard Knott who died from cancer at the end of last year. Between them, they raised nearly £300 and had an enjoyable day, albeit tinged with sadness. It was moving to see so many people with signs on their backs naming the person they were running for. Cancer touches so many lives. Julia is still welcoming donations at justgiving.co.uk/julialewis Also running were my mother-in-law, sisters-in-law and Richard’s daughters.

Say No To 0870

If I phone you up to buy something from you, is it good customer service to make me listen to an advertisement and to charge me at a premium rate for the privilege? Obviously not, yet that’s exactly what Airmiles did when I phoned their 0870 number to book some Eurostar tickets (which you can’t do online). If they want to sell me a credit card, that’s fine but they should do it on a freefone number. After holding for a couple of minutes, I decided to go to saynoto0870.com to get the lower cost number local exchange number which incidentally is 01925 866000.

I started getting my Tesco Clubcard points converted to Airmiles because they seemed like better value and so it has proved. I booked flights to Paris because Eurostar was too expensive. For just over 2500 miles, I saved £150 on flights. This values the Airmiles at 6p each. For every £2.50 in Clubcard vouchers, you get 60 miles or £3.60 at the rate I got, so that is good value unless you use up all your extra value in 0870 charges.

When is June?

I always look forward to receiving the Southampton Harbour Lights Picture House brochure each month. When the June issue arrived, I was excited to see they are screening Top Hat on 10 June, so I phoned the box office to book tickets, only to be told it doesn’t go on sale until 5 June. Golden rule: don’t advertise something you can’t sell.

My wife found the opposite problem. She bought the June issue of Good Housekeeping on 27th May only to find that a readers’ offer from M&S ran out on 23rd May. She phoned GH to complain but the person she spoke to couldn’t care less, arguing that the issue had appeared in early May.

Two good examples of how to piss off your customers.

Hiya

Is it what is said or the thought behind it that counts when it somes to customer service? I find an increasing number of the young people at checkouts now say 'Hiya' and 'Seeya' rather than 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'. I would normally argue that someone serving should tailor their language to the customer but since this is their natural form of language so they're not being impolite, I think it would be unreaosnable to expect them to second guess how I would like to be greeted. It's much better and offers a more genuine service than them parroting 'Have a nice day' because that's what you've been trained to say.

It's not just a catchphrase...

An article in The Guardian last week heralded the death of catchphrases in the age of advertisements that sell stories, feelings and images. I think there'll always be room for a memorable phrase that encapsulates a brand. 'It's not just food, it's M&S food', 'I bet he didn't go to Specsavers' are just two recent successes that show the catchphrase is alive and well.

Keep Your Eyes On The Horizon

That means make sure your marketing is line with the company’s objectives. It’s wasteful and bad for your employment prospects if you trying to position the product as cheap and cheerful when the company wants it to be seen as top quality and exclusive.

It means making sure your marketing doesn’t sacrifice long term aims for short term gains. Don’t cut prices to gain sales now if it’s going to compromise your product’s image.

It doesn’t mean taking your eye of the detail of what you’re doing now. However, don't let your marketing meander all over the place. Everything little thing you do should be informed by the long term strategy.

How To Write

While I was preparing some advice for a client on writing press releases, I came across these words from the nineteenth century writer John Ruskin. The points he makes apply to any kind of writing- press releases, blogs, direct mail, novels:

"Say all you have to say in the fewest words possible, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will be sure to misunderstand them."

Shocking News

I was discussing with one of my clients ways in which they could get more media coverage. At one time sex, nudity and swearing were surefire ways of whipping up some media controversy. Nowadays these things pass without notice.

I remember being disappointed when the appearance of The Vagina Monologues at my theatre a few years ago failed to raise even an eyebrow, let alone a green ink letter. A few days ago Wedding Belles on Channel 4 offered us necrophilia, hard drug taking, gory murder and foul language and still didn’t make the headlines. Disappointing for us publicists, but at least artists can now get on with exploring human sexual activity without their efforts being viewed through the filter of shock.

On the other hand, religion is definitely worth a try if you want to get some media attention. You don’t even have to go out of your way to offend some Christians or Muslims- it seems they’re going out of their way to be offended. The latest is the banning of an exhibition of a naked Jesus made of chocolate that was due to be displayed in a New York gallery. The Catholic League For Religious And Civil Rights did the deed in this case. I’d never heard of Cosimo Cavallero before but now I’ve seen his website and think some of his work looks quite impressive.

Let’s be thankful there are still people around who can guarantee the arts a bit of publicity.

Customer Satisfaction Guaranteed? Not at the Theatre

Lyn Gardner’s blog at Guardian Unlimited made me think about refunds for theatre shows. “Guarantee” is one of the strongest selling words there is. So why are the arts so reluctant to offer one? Do we have such a lack of confidence in our product?

It’s partly because when you're talking about theatre satisfaction is a matter of opinion, partly because arts finances are so tight. I also know there’s a fear that some unscrupulous people would take advantage and ask for a refund even if they enjoyed the show, in effect having their cake and eating it, which is different from someone returning goods to a shop.

Experience from other industries suggests that the vast majority of people don’t try it on and we would make a lot more money in extra ticket sales than we would lose in refunds.

But if we really don’t trust our audience, why not give them a refund if they leave before the end? That’s what I used to do when I was involved in running a theatre. Then again, we’re talking about an industry that generally won’t even give refunds the day after the ticket is purchased!

Lyn Gardner also discusses the apparent problem of cheap tickets intended to encourage new attenders being snapped up by old hands. I'm amazed this is a such an issue these days. Every theatre and ticket agency has a database of customers. Surely you simply say that if you're an existing customer, you don't qualify for an introductory offer. Of course there will be some who go to a different agency or buy through another party just to get the discount but this simple measure would eliminate most of the 'problem'. Have they not heard of database marketing?

Customer Service Goes Bananas

I’ve said before that a company is only as good as its frontline staff. Here are two good examples, both from Marks & Spencer.

I’m looking for bananas. The banana shelves are empty so I ask a nearby shelf stacker. She says they’ve had a busy day and sold out. Feeling sad, I go to the check-out, then just as I’m leaving the shop, the assistant rushes up to me with her arms full of bunches of the curvy yellow fruit. She says “I was just out the back and I found some more bananas!” That’s what I call service.

By contrast, the very next day, I’m trying to select a yoghurt (I know you’re impressed by my healthy diet) but I can’t get to the shelf because an assistant is on his knees in front of me- not worshipping the chilled section but stacking shelves. This is clearly what he sees as his job, and he won't let customers get in the way of it. That’s what I call a banana skin.

If you're going to do it, do it properly

Last Monday saw the launch of Celebratio, an event management and ticketing system from SecureTicket for which The Lewis Experience has been providing PR and marketing support. What I like about the people at SecureTicket (apart from the fact that they're very nice) is that they realise the danger of the false economy.

So they chose the Cafe Royal for the launch- a top class, sophisticated venue right in the heart of London, not some anonymous hotel on the fringes. They got a well known celebrity (Maggie Philbin, the BBC's Face Of Technology, pictured with Rashid Qajar, chief executive of SecureTicket) to host it instead of relying on their excellent but unknown selves. They served champagne not cheap sparkling wine. They commissioned a short comedy film and hired a live band, rather than simply offering a power point presentation.

The result was a well-attended evening and potential clients going away with an image of a company that doesn't just promise great things but actually delivers.

If you want to know more about Celebratio, which by the way is Latin for 'audience', visit the website secureticket.biz.